Why is she acting like this, and what can I do about it?

she's possessive and has difficulties admitting it, so she's talking about your !!!!imagined!!!! duties to other people. That's why she's mentioning her own funeral. I'm not going to give you any advise here, because you know what you can live with. Some people simply can't get over the guilt feeling, and even though they don't do what somebody else wants them to do, they end up paying for it by blaming themselves for anything bad that happens ...